Yosemite musings

We ended up spending longer than planned in Yosemite. Yes, one reason was our dismal effort at managing to get up in time for a breakfast in the morning (though, to be fair, I blame the sun). But with P sick, and much of the park closed due for the winter, it seemed foolish to leave without embarking on one of the few fat hikes left open.

To your left you can see Half Dome, also closed in winter. In the summer you can scale it's curving peak, but they say that if you can see a storm on the horizon, turn back, since: it takes about that long to mount it (tee hee), the 'path' is a metal ladder supported by two metal cables, and the rock itself turns into one giant, slick lightning rod. Looks pretty though.

Due to the nature of the granite cliffs, Yosemite is always changing. Water runs into the cracks of the rock and, if it freezes the crack is widened until the sound of rocks cascading down into the valley interrupts your dinner. These can happen almost anywhere, but the Rangers do have some 'hotspots' to avoid: "If you do this hike, don't stop under the three brothers for lunch." Thanks for the advice.

In fact, as we were driving into the Valley we met a delay. They'd closed down one half of the highway (the entrance highway), so the exit highway had to be shared. As we drove along, whistling to ourselves and singing songs about Yosemite Brown (a mischievous imp to be sure) we saw the reason for the closure. A big, fuck-off rock slide had consumed about 30 metres of road.

One thing B would like to point out is the interesting layout of National Parks (and the National monuments, forests, etc) in the United States. You see, while planning the road trip, B had catered several days for the larger Parks, planning with his knowledge of Australian parks - where you have to go and out and hike or whatever to see the best bits. But they do things differently here. You can see most of the park, from the safety and comfort of your car or motorised home. Sure, sometimes you might have to crane your neck, or even step out and walk for a few metres, but in most every Park we ventured to, you could enjoy the wonders of nature without leaving your John Denver or air-conditioned comfort of mechanical transport. This is especially apparent in the larger, well-known parks such as Yosemite, Arches and Grand Canyon (and apparently Yellowstone), where you don't have to leave your car at all. While great tracts of road running through large tracts of the Park, complete with that harmonious sound of traffic and the occasional horn blast (and in peak season, unbearable traffic - ah the paradox, escaping the city to be caught in an overly-congested Park), raises obvious questions of sustainability (15 bears were killed by cars in 2006), it does make Park-hopping a much more viable option.

Speaking of bears, on the left are some of our food-storage bear lockers. Turns out, even in winter when most bears are having an extended lie-in of their own, the black bears of the Sierra Nevada prefer to wallow in their own crapulence. And black bears have a tendency of smelling food and anything like food (like toiletries) and doing whatever it takes to obtain said food. Cars are literally peeled open like cans, and cans are peeled open like cars. The ranger told us that bear will smash open a jar of peanut butter and just scoop it into their mouths glass and all. Which is obviously a big problem for the bear... but a much bigger problem if you've left some food in your car or tent or sleeping bag - about a 180kg problem if you know what I mean.

The advice about playing dead with a bear stands only with Grizzlys. If one plays dead with a Black Bear, the bear will still wail on you like ninja with shurikens in both hands and feet, and daggers in its mouth. If one does encounter a Black Bear, do not run, as this will trigger a hunting instinct in the bear; instead one should yell at it and make as much noise as possible, whilst making oneself appear larger and more threatening. If this is not working, then one should throw rocks at the Black Bear - however do not hit it in the face, as this will only enrage the bear. Remember as well not to make eye contact with the bear, as this will seem to challenge the bear, also enraging it.

Hmmmmm.

By the third day P was starting to feel more "human" and could handle a short walk. Unfortunately B was starting to feel more like a cucumber, but we went on the walk regardless (sniff, no one ever considers the man's feelings).

This is lower Yosemite Falls (though the whole falls are obscured from view, the cliffs behind the falls give an indication as to total size). At 739m from tip to toe, Yosemite Falls is arguably the tallest waterfall in the US , and either the 6th or 7th tallest waterfall in the world (apparently they discovered a new one hiding in a secret trapdoor in the middle of the Iraqi desert or something). However, due to the complicated nature of measuring a waterfall (should gradiant be included, cascade vs vertical drop, does the surrouding peak count, volume of water, seasonal output, etc) it's also not the tallest in the US, and only the 19th tallest in the world (this is according to the World Waterfall Database). Now, we assume that the WWD know their shit when it comes to waterfalls; however, due to their downgrading of Yosemite's waterfall status, we're sticking to the more impressive, yet potentially less accurate, ranking. Why? Because the next day we climbed it, and we want to make ourselves feel better.